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Living dangerously

Tuesday: Sent email to 8 cardio consultants to request for supervisor for elective.

Wednesday: Happy. One cardio consultant wants to meet me next wednesday.

Thursday: Stressed. 2 more cardio consultant wants to meet me and i'm thinking of agreeing.

Please don't let them find out i'm meeting all of them!

At least i'm less stressed up than kien wei is right now. He's being interrogated by 3 consultants about what he wants to do. Xp

I think elective is going to be a great time. Gonna research a bit more about my topic. At the end of all this i'll be an ECG pro! Goody!

most hardworking week

i just spent 3 days in the hospital during my holiday. hardworking eh?

2009

Its been an awfully long year. Now that i'm at the end of it, i can't help but say i've survived a really long year with many mishaps and finally emerging through the end of it, a better person. There are plenty more to improve on and that's exactly what i shall do for myself.

I've seen a lot of people this year, contrary to what i tell people that no one ever comes to aberdeen to visit me. Unfortunately, the person i would like to see most would never come all this way to see me. And even if she did, i'm not sure how i would react to that. X)

Here's a look at the whole year of 2009.

The person that i miss most in this foreign land still, would be my grandma. Not like any other women. She is an amazing woman and i absolutely miss her. Where every female has been somewhat disappointing Xp, she never will be. I miss you and the food you cook. Sorry I haven't been a good grandson. I wish that i would be able to say all this to her one day.

My dear family on the other side. When i was young, i never thought i would stop resenting them, because they were family but they were complete by themselves, unlike my very broken family. But i grew older, and saw that they were amazing people who treated me sincerely. And it has been so many years knowing them and seeing them grow old. Sometimes i am reminded when i see elderly patients, of how lucky i am to be able to know someone for this long. I miss grandpas house on chinese new year, with that bbq pork, beer and the sounds of mah jong.

This is the door of a very special place to me. It was this place at the park near my hostel where i said farewell to this spanish girl i knew. I think the problem with me is not that i can't find the right person to like but the problem is that i force myself to not like them and to forget about them because i was wishing that previous someone would someday come back. And that is a silly idea which i've come to realize, will not work for me.

I like this wall. If only i could still do something like this in whitehall. It would add a bit of coziness and character to my room.

I was walking around hong kong last week and saw so many shops on sale for gundams. Could have bought one but didn't have any money after buying some clothes and some food for housemates. Xp i guess 3 will have to do for now.

This picture was taken so long ago. This was the first week that we were here. Check out our hair. Looks like we just came out of an army camp. I think i could do a better job at cutting their hair. I should really charge!

Fluffy, i miss. This was the room in the hostel where i stayed for a few months. Funny thing about my room. It ALWAYS ends up being the gathering place, no matter how small or big. I wonder why.

I remember this! i called everyone on facebook and told them to look outside the window in the middle of the night. How i miss facebook! Haha. Maybe i should get back to it and waste my precious life on it.

Our last sport outing which was around half a year ago. My god! We need to exercise, no?

First day moving into this amazing house. Really glad we got this place. My room has changed immensely. A lot of people have come and go but i am still here and these 2 crazy guys are also here to stay. I am glad they are both staying with me and that they are both guys! No more girls please! Xp

The girl that changed a big part of me, how i act, speak, think. Thank you and i am sorry it has to be like this now.

I think i must have took a few hundred pictures of flowers in aberdeen. Probably time for me to get out of aberdeen. Funny thing is i should be in edinburgh right now but am afraid because i don't want to bump into that person there. There is only one thing left in the world that i am afraid to do and that is to see her. Because i wouldn't know how i would react.

Hanying came here a couple of times. Its nice to see old faces. And why is kien wei always with that expression even when he isn't drinking?

I must have spent a few hundred hours this year on skype with natalia and ellice combined. I think it is time i stop being so dependent on human relationship and start doing something good for my future.

If i spent a few hundred hours on skype, then i must have spent thousands of hours on Dota! Scary! Remember that 2 week summer break we spent in MY room?!

And probably another million hours eating in my room. Our roasting weekends.

Lesser than a million hours drinking booze and getting stupid. And of course me ending in tears and hugging random men. Xp

My personal achievement this year. Cycling to stonehaven. Would do it again sometime soon.

Now i understand what we are suppose to be. I think we would make good friends like me and kien wei and victor!

That's me and kien wei and a piece of bbqed victor (his spare tire).

My dear speedy, i love you. Got into an accident yesterday because some stupid driver pushed me to the side of the road and i skied for 2 seconds. Ended with 2 big bruises on my butt and knee and my dear speedy's rubber handle slightly torn. Grrr ...

I think any guy should feel lucky to have you around. And i do feel lucky you were around.

It is taking me more than 10 minutes to think how to describe us. And i still dont know how to.

Sigh, that was a fun time to have friends visiting me. Makes me feel worth it, every bit of hard work i've put into it. It feels like i am a worthy human for a bit of care. Plus, you do put a smile on my face when i think of you. For that, i want to thank you.

Fight it! It's all in your mind!

My dear sister, i miss you soooooo much. That hong kong trip was a nightmare and the only thing i look forward to was you and papa and grandpa. Thank you for all the money and time you spent on me. I hope to see you soon. Feels sad to realize you're so far away.

It was a turbulent year but i've learned so many things that took so much of my time. It took me a year to realize i am a terrible person and all the terrible things that i did. It took me one year to realize nothing i do would make up for all the wrong decisions that i made. And it took me one year to realize nothing comes to me if i dont put some effort into it, whether it being friends, family, work, love.

For now, i want to be a better, stronger me, whom everyone would be proud to call as a friend, brother, son, grandson. And I just want to do the right thing and be proud of myself and never have to say sorry to myself.

-THE END OF 2009-