Maybe this is the perfect day ...

My recent motto 'Do everything the right way' and so far, its working well. Yea, I've skipped 2 clinics this week but only because I failed to wake up for the first one and because of an on call later today in the evening.

I would like to say that i nailed my on call night. Not so many of a "Uh ..... " night. Useless information in my brain was finally a bit wee more useful today. So, what are the most common type of cranial lumps in paeds? hematoma in scAlP (periosteal and aponeurosis). how in the world could i have remembered that from med school years ago?!

I guess one thing is still quite true about peads attachments. No matter how much of books I could potentially digest at home, it never measures up to a day of specialty clinic. And that's mainly because everything I read, is non tpical for an adult, let alone in paeds.

There was a female specialist registrar, chinese, probably a taiwanese, bringing me along in the wards round. Damn, finally I've met with a non consultant that knows their stuff. Me and Daniel said to ourselves 'So, that's how it is to always make sense, it's just so simple'. How come WE can't do it??

Looking at the patients in the clinics, I just realized I'm at least at the top of 95th percentile for being such a lucky person. I'm not sick, nor in severe poverty, nor do i need to stick a needle in me 3 times a day such as in diabetics. Gosh I am lucky.

Today marks the end of the first week in paeds. With any luck, I'll get a bike tomorrow and do the one thing I've been wanting to do for a while now. The place where something FIRST happened in Aberdeen. I hope that place hasn't change.

learning english

so this is how people may react when i attempt to learn spanish/french .... not cool.

It is a TV program of entertainment where participants are seeing a video of somebody who learn english and they are not allowed to laugh or they are beaten.

Something to laugh at, this guy is good! X)

paediatrics examination

1. Warm smile (which i don't have)
2. Warm hands (during summer, but what about winter??)
3. Warm stethoscope (i dont have a stet, how!?)

tired

The truth is I cant stop myself from messaging caryn. And i'm sorry if i ruined her afternoon. I really am.

I kept sending Natalia smses, but the truth is i have never said the words i want to say because it is not right for me to say simple words like 'i like you'.

The truth is, it only takes one person to say to me 'Be a good boy' from time to time, and i would.

why i blog

... because I miss having someone who would listen to all my silly stories. Stories of what I do everyday, no matter how small and insignificant it may sound, or how normal my day was. I have recently realized how true the saying goes, 'It is difficult to find a good listener'. And I, of all people, knows how it drives a person crazy not being heard. I have to say that my self esteem is pretty low now. I ain't worth anyone’s time, because I can't give or help with anything, compelled with this tarnished reputation of being a relationship breaker. My heart screams no and my actions try at it's best to be valiant and true. Even the numerous messages that I send to the person that I adore has to be screened ample times, screen proof to avoid words that convey too much of affection or words that give false impression, or any impression of liking itself. I am only 21 years old and I’ve screwed up so many things. If I had avoided all these mistakes, I would’ve been rich with contentment. Simply do the right thing from now, is my plan from now on.

From now on, do the right thing, say only the truth, and no avoidance.

cycling level 3

Abilities acquired:

- climb up small pavement steps, failure rate ~40%.
- dodge rubbish bin attacks 80% of the time.

Level 4:

- cycle on the road and not get hit by a car.

cycling level 2

woo hoo, i can finally cycle and it only took 2 hour to learn.

despite so many people who tried teaching me things, i guess i just have to learn in by myself. but thanks to all the folks, especially those that gave me their bike as a guinea pig.

no bike was harmed but i kinda hit a few rubbish bin and some minor bruise on my legs. Xp

holiday will be over soon. i know it is stupid to say but this holiday feels lonely, even with housemates around.

Special Recipes

Jamie Oliver would be proud of us.

We made do with what we had.

We cooked so often, we got bored and tried something out of this world.

Kien Wei didn't want to eat meat for dinner. So he made this weird combo platter out of apples, bananas, donuts, bread and cherry tomatoes.

He's thinking about trying to make rice yogurt tomorrow. I wonder how that would taste. Xp


I had this madness craze for stir frying lately. Yesterday was tom yam fried rice. Today i ran out of overnight rice. So i stir fried spaghetti instead. Not bad indeed,


I'm thinking about tom yam stir fry spiral pasta tomorrow. Hmm ... sounds good.

Roasted week

2 recipes, lots of sun, lots of rain, lots of laughter, a bit of sadness ... and one week is over.

Failure

work harder ... less blogging ... let computer ... less pictures ... sigh.

100 post then ...

We just celebrated victor's and satvinder's birthday. It was a tiring day, getting the presents and to socialize, which I am hardly good at. Human chemistry is just not in me.

100 post, and still an empty cup. I miss feeling right.

O n G

O n G .... more like OMG.

Feeling depressed with myself for doing so badly in exam today.

*no motivation*

57 kg

i left malaysia with 65 kg of me, now i have 57 kg of it. what happened to 8 more kgs?

did the airport people lose it while i transited in hong kong or london?

i thought chocolates were meant to make people fat ... but is it?

i thought eating and then sleeping makes people fat ... but its not.

this is the record thinnest i've been.

i can count the ribs without palpating.

the pectus excavatum has never been more excavated.

proper meals maybe, but i doubt it'll help. with this many hours sitting and reading and this little sleep.

i feel thin, sleepy, tired and stupid.

composure

it has taken everything i have, every single ounce of effort to forget. and it seems like i am finally picking up myself, by myself. after numerous falls and losing myself, i finally have a routine that i do to forget.

it doesn't hurt anymore to think or talk about it. but avoiding still feels much better. and i can feel that this is the last stretch that i have to run through. although it still feels like running on shattered glass, the glass pieces pierces only skin deep now.

so what if she's in seremban or malaysia or even aberdeen? i can say that convincingly now, and with an occasional grin. it's a good sign of tolerance. 7 months, that's how long it has screwed my life. maybe more if i include the time i spent alone last year.

my goal for the next 2 weeks: learn how to cycle, maybe study a bit for paediatrics and ... ta da damm!!!

LEARN SOME BASIC SPANISH!

the timing may be all messed up. but if i dun give it an effort, i'll never know if i failed just for not trying.

Caffeine

Not that it keeps me awake anymore.

compulsive

I should think what i write and read what i write and not publish what i didn't read twice. X(

This 2 weeks have been awful ...

I have plans for next 2 weeks already.

Irish!

I was surfing at random things this evening and wondered what my name meant. I googled it and this came up:

The boy's name Kevin \k(e)-vin\ is pronounced KEV-in. It is of Irish and Gaelic origin, and its meaning is "handsome beloved".

My name's origin is Irish and I didn't even know it. Hmph ...

And out of curiosity, I googled Natalia's as well. But I already knew beforehand that it means birth, which should be from latin for 'natal'. But no ... someone had to insist it was Russian. Hmm ...

And here's what it says about Natalia:

The girl's name Natalie \n(a)-ta-lie\ is pronounced NAT-a-lee. It is of Latin origin, and its meaning is "birthday". Refers to the birthday of Christ, or Christmas.

So what does Kevina Natalie means?

Looks like an alien here.

It was the nicest weather I've experienced since I've been here in Aberdeen. Summer holiday in 2 more weeks. So many of my fellow batchmates were sun bathing out in the open, waiting for their tutorial to start.

I only had half day of clinic today. So I got home and got my camera and took a stroll using the usual road i take to go to the hospital. Whitehall - Beechgroove - Bonnymuir - Westburn.

I'm not sure if its the temperature (36°C today) or if its because I never noticed it, but all the flowers are blooming today! Its a great day for pictures.

Funny place for the sunray to hit on ... on the most perfect spot ... and my eye just caught it.

The first house on the right which I pass everyday on the way to the hospital.

I think this is Jasmine. I could smell it 10 feet away from this place. The house was lovely too.

This is the nicest picture! Roses for my dear friend Ros. Haha ...